just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
