well I can't set my house on fire every night
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
