I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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