We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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