I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
