rhymes with "ouble enetration"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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