You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
