I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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