awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
