Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
