I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
