She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
