1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
