We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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