Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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