my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
