You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
