And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
third nipple confirmed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
