I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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