please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
