Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
