winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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