Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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