Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
