I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
did you just send me my own nude
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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