We're like a lot better than the average bears
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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