Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
