Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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