I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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