I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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