I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
