my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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