the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
