I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
4 words: hood of his car
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
