this beer tastes like vomit already
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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