i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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