you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
