I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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