whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
