We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
