i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
