So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
