Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
