Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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