im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
