this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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