I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
