p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
