All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize