Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
