So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
