I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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