ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
