True but thats because hes a fetus.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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