Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
