So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
