Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
