I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
