I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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